


Promises Made, Promises Kept

by Akiko_Natsuko



Series: NaLi [2]
Category: Fairy Tail
Genre: Character Death, F/M, Family, First Kiss, Friends to Lovers, Friendship/Love, Grief/Mourning, Guilt, Heavy Angst, Implied/Referenced Torture, Promises, Sacrifice, Serious Injuries, ceasefire, peace treaty
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-17
Updated: 2018-11-17
Packaged: 2019-08-17 06:17:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,747
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16510931
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Akiko_Natsuko/pseuds/Akiko_Natsuko
Summary: There was nothing she could do to stop him giving himself up to protect the guild...to protect her...Nothing that she could do, apart from make him promise to come back, not realising just how cruel that promise would prove to be.





	Promises Made, Promises Kept

_What have we done? What have I done…?_

*

    It was something that should never have happened. It should never have been a choice that they’d make -  although technically they hadn’t been the ones to make it. The guild had been on the point of collapse, the seemingly never-ending war bringing everyone to the edge of their endurance and hope was waning as they realised that it was unlikely they could hold out through another attack. It was into this atmosphere that Zeref had appeared with an offer - a reprieve, a chance to treat their injured and gather their strength in return for handing over Natsu. Despite their current state, there was no way they would accept that offer, even if it had been for a complete ceasefire they would never hand over one of their own, but before they had, had a chance to say as much Natsu had taken the choice out of their hands.

   He was as wounded as the rest of them, his clothes tattered and bloody and his face lined with exhaustion, but there was no hesitation in his movements as he headed towards Zeref and there was even a small smile on his face as he gently shook of Lucy and Gray who had tried to grab hold of him.

“NATSU!” Lisanna was the first to shake off her shock, horror dawning as he turned towards her at the shout and she could see from the determined set to his expression that he fully intended to go through with this. _Idiot, what are you thinking?_ Zeref hadn’t answered Erza’s loud demands to know why he wanted Natsu, but it didn’t take a genius to realise that it couldn’t be anything good, and yet Natsu didn’t show any awareness of that fact. “Natsu you…” Whatever else she had been about to try and say to stop him from this craziness was drowned out as the rest of the guild finally recovered from their shock at the Dragon-slayer’s action. At once the air was filled with people shouting, a mixture of refusals to the original offer and frantic demands to know what Natsu was doing, yet through it, all the Dragon-slayer and Zeref remained silent.

     Natsu finally raised his hand a few minutes later, and slowly silence fell, and Lisanna knew that everyone was hoping that he was going to say that he wasn’t going to do this, but she knew that wasn’t the case. She had known from the moment that he had moved that he would do this. He had been raging from the moment they had regrouped, and he had been faced with what everyone had been forced to endure, and she knew that there was no way he would let anything else happen to them, even if it meant throwing himself into fire. Her eyes were stinging fiercely by this point, and she was shaking her head from to side when Natsu met her gaze for a moment and for the first time she saw a crack in his confidence. However, he hastily shifted his gaze back to the other’s, his smile firmly back in place and she couldn’t help but wonder if she had imagined the waver.

“It’s a good deal,” he sounded calm and collected, as though unaware of the wave of alarm that had passed through the rest of guild as it began to dawn on them that he was serious. _A good deal?_ She thought incredulously, and she took a half step towards him, a half-formed thought of grabbing him and trying to shake some sense into him, but she froze when his attention shifted to her for a moment. There was a wealth of emotions in the olive eyes that held her gaze for a moment, and her protests died in her lips. _Natsu…_ Numbly she watched as he turned to look at Makarov who was propped up against the far wall, although the older mage was currently fighting to regain his feet, although he stopped under the force of the Dragon-slayer’s gaze. “Look after them, Gramps.” _Don’t let them do something stupid,_ she could hear his unspoken words hanging in the air, and she was hit by an insane urge to laugh. What right did he have to say that - to think it - when he was stood there, about to do the stupidest thing he had ever done.

    She could see Erza and Gray moving forward, and she knew that they were going to try and stop him, and she caught the way Natsu’s hands curled into fists as he caught their movement and his eyes narrowed at them.

“It’s a good deal!” He repeated sharply.

“Like hell it is!” Gray retorted angrily, before gesturing towards Zeref who was watching the unfolding events with an amused smile. “You can’t trust what he says! And do you think any of us are going to sit back and let you be a sacrificial idiot?!”

“I have no intention of being a sacrifice,” Natsu said firmly, and the sheer certainty in his voice made them halt. “I will be fine. I’m just buying you time, and then you guys can save my ass.” The sheer faith in his voice stunned Lisanna, and she could tell that she wasn’t the only one. _Don’t you realise that we’ve only got this far by the skin of our teeth?_ There was absolutely no guarantee that they would be able to get him back, especially as they were still nowhere near coming up with a way to defeat Zeref, and yet there was no doubting that the Dragon-slayer absolutely believed what he was saying.

“Natsu…” She whispered, frantically trying to think of what she could say to change his mind, to make him realise that just this once his faith might be misplaced. There was no way that they would ever give up on him, but this time they might not be able to do anything about it. _Natsu, we might not be able to win this time, and I don’t want you to pay the price…_

“I’ll be fine,” his voice was much softer this time, gentler just for her as he turned fully towards her and there was no hint of a lie in his eyes as he grinned at her. Despite everything, and despite the fear flooding her, and the dread that they might not be able to do anything, she couldn’t help but be bolstered by his expression. She that this situation was worse than anything they’d faced before, but she couldn’t forget the fact that in the past that expression had always meant that he was going to dig deep and make the impossible happen. “Lisanna…”

“P-promise…” Lisanna couldn’t keep her voice from wavering, aware that what she was about to ask was selfish - too selfish really, considering what he was already doing for them. Hesitating she realised that her next words meant that she had accepted what he was about to do, and she could hear the dissenting murmurs around them, but she couldn’t tear her gaze away from his. _I’m sorry if it’s selfish, but I need to hear the words…I need to know that you won’t give up no matter what._  “Promise me you’ll hold on! That you’ll stay alive until we can get you back!” She knew that if he gave his word, he would keep it, it was just the way he was. _Natsu._

“I promise,” the words rolled easily off his lips, and he never flinched as she stared intently at him, searching for any sign of hesitation. However, after a moment a hint of mischief entered his expression, and his cheeks turned slightly red. “When I come back will you give me a kiss?” It was insane, completely out of place in their current situation and for a moment all she could do was stare in disbelief. _A Kiss?_ She could feel herself heating up slightly, but she still couldn’t bring herself to look away, and it was because of that, that she caught the serious glint in his eyes. _He means it._

  They had confessed to each only a few weeks ago, a bumbling, embarrassing mess that had resulted in crimson cheeks and eventually shy smiles and a warm hug. Neither of them had, had the courage to do more at that time and they had been planning their first proper date when everything had gone wrong, and a couple of tears slid down her cheeks as she realised that dream might be getting even further away. He was waiting for her response, his grin dimming the longer she took to reply and realising this she gathered her courage and took a deep breath. _A kiss huh?_

“I-if you come back to me,” she said softly, stumbling over her words and feeling herself growing redder by the moment, reaching up to brush away her tears before offering him a strained smile. “Then yes, I’ll give you a kiss.” At once he brightened, his grin more blinding then before even as he blushed brightly.

“It’s a promise,” he sounded surprisingly solemn considering his expression, and Lisanna couldn’t stop herself from reaching out towards him as he finally turned and resumed moving towards Zeref. Natsu glanced over his shoulder once more, and despite the cries from his friends begging him not to be an idiot he only had eyes for her, and she felt more tears escape at his next words. “Wait for me Lisanna.”

    She wasn’t given a chance to reply, as the moment he reached Zeref their view of him was obscured as Zeref’s magic engulfed them both, flinging Gray and Erza who had charged forwards at the last minute across the guild hall, and when it cleared she was unsurprised to see that they had both disappeared. Whatever calmness she had managed to project before shattered at that moment, and she fell to her knees with an inarticulate cry, tears leaking down her cheeks and she was barely aware of her siblings rushing to her side and wrapping her up in a hug. All she could focus on was the fact that Natsu was gone - that she had let him go, with nothing but a promise tying them together.

_What have we done? What have I done?_

****

A week later:

    Zeref had kept his word. As soon as he disappeared with Natsu, what remained of his forces had retreated, and while they hadn’t dared to lower their guards, Fairy Tail had begun to regroup. Many of their wounds would take a while to heal, but just having a chance to rest was helping, although nearly every moment was spent desperately trying to come up with a way to defeat the Dark Mage and get Natsu back. The Fire mage’s absence, or rather the reason for it was a constant weight on their shoulders and not one person in the guild was able to go around without guilt in their eyes, each of them fearing what he might be enduring at that moment in time, just because he had wanted to protect them.

    Lisanna had been on autopilot all week, going where her siblings directed and avoiding the heated debates around the guild, ever aware of the accusing eyes that followed her. She knew that the others couldn’t understand why she hadn’t tried harder to stop Natsu, even though they knew just as well as her that there was no stopping the Dragon-slayer when he got like that. That there was nothing, he wouldn’t do to protect the guild. He had been like that since he first joined, but she knew that it had been her request for him to protect Fairy Tail back before she had disappeared that had helped push him to the extremes that he was willing to go to now. _Why? Why does he give my words such power?_ The only comfort she could draw from that fact was that he would do everything in his power to keep his promise to her.

_But is that enough?_

**

     They had sent out scouts and called on their allies for any hint of news, and yet still they had not the slightest idea as to where Zeref and their Dragon-slayer were, and the mood in the guild was getting darker by the moment. Lisanna could feel it pressing in on her as she watched Cana frowning down at her cards, dark shadows lining the other woman’s eyes, wondering when the card mage had last rested - when had any of them rested properly? She had tried to sleep, but every time she closed her eyes she was haunted by dreams of what could be happening to Natsu, the words of their promises a constant echo in the back of her mind. _Natsu…_ She sniffled slightly, eyes tearing up as she caught the dark glares being sent in her direction and watching as Cana suddenly stiffened.

“Cana?”

    The card mage had no time to answer as their vision was abruptly cut off by a flare of crimson light, and Lisanna reeled backwards an arm thrown protectively over her eyes, tensing in the expectation of an attack and yet all she could hear was startled cries from the others. As the light faded away, she cautiously lowered her arm, her magic simmering just below the surface in case it was an attack, but all thoughts of the war vanished from her mind as her gaze landed on the still figure sprawled in the centre of the guild. It felt as though all the air had been sucked out of the room as her gaze landed on familiar pink hair. Or rather what remained of it, as the strands were covered in dirt and…her mind blanked, not wanting to admit what she saw even as she took a shaky step forward.

“Natsu?” There was no reply from the still figure, and she shook off her numbness as she dashed to his side, collapsing to her knees beside him even as she reached out and gently turned him onto her back. Something she almost regretted as she took in the deep gashes covering nearly every inch of his skin. _Natsu._ Her attention was drawn to the blood splatted note that was pinned to the remnants of his vest, and with trembling fingers she pulled it off, blinking back tears as she stared down at the neat cursive script.

    _Your words kept him alive. A lesser man would have perished several times over. It would have been a mercy if you had let him go without that promise. Make sure you never forget the pain that your promise caused him, that you never forget what he endured just for you._

_Zeref_

     It wasn’t addressed to anyone, but she knew it was meant for her and a choked sob slipped free as she dropped the note. _What have I done?_ Her vision was blurring with tears as she turned her attention back to Natsu, jolting as she realised that his eyes were open, although they were barely more than slits and the pain in them shattered her hear. _I did this…_ It hurt. It hurt more than she ever thought possible to realise just how far he had gone for her, just to keep a promise that she knew at the time had been selfish to ask for. _But I had no idea how selfish,_ she realised, barely managing to muffle her sobs as she gently pulled the Dragon-slayer into her lap.

“Natsu…”

“Heh…I kept my p-promise,” Natsu wheezed, blinking blearily up at her and she had a feeling that he wasn’t seeing her clearly, which was a relief before she could feel the tears pouring down her cheeks as an icy feeling settled over her heart. _A less man would have perished several times over…_

“Y-yeah,” she breathed shakily as she brushed dirty pink hair out of his face, her fingers gentle as they ghosted over the damaged flesh of his cheek. _What did that monster do to you?_ She could feel his blood soaking into her clothes, and nausea welled up even as she heard the others shouting for Wendy. She didn’t bother joining them, knowing deep down inside that there was no coming back from wounds like this, and she pulled him closer, whispering frantic apologies when he whimpered despite his best efforts not to. “You kept your promise.” A relieved smile appeared on his lips for a moment as her words registered, but it was almost immediately replaced with a grimace, and she panicked when his eyes slid shut. “Natsu!”

“Still here…” He muttered, and with a huge amount of effort he forced them open once more, and this time there was a hint more clarity to his gaze as he stared up at her. Jerkily, the movement clearly causing him a great deal of pain, he lifted his hand and trailed his fingers against her cheek, and she could feel the blood he left in their wake and yet she still leant into the touch, trying not to react to the fact that his skin was cool against hers. “Lisanna…”

“I know,” Lisanna shushed him, catching the guilt that had seeped into his eyes and knowing what he was trying to say and she wasn’t ready to hear the words. She glanced up as she heard running feet halting a short distance away, and she struggled to swallow back the wail that was rising in her throat as she met Porlyusica’s gaze, seeing the horror and grief written across the older woman’s face, whilst just behind her Wendy had fallen to her knees and broken into sobs. _Oh…_ Shakily she turned her attention back to Natsu, realising that he had followed her gaze and seen the healers’ reactions, and her heart broke at the calm acceptance in his eyes. _Natsu, how can you look like that?_

“I’m sorry…” He whispered when their gazes met, and a spark of anger forced its way through her grief as she cradled him closer than ever.

“Don’t apologise …don’t you dare.” _Not when we did this. Not when I did this._ If we had stopped you. If we had been strong enough to defeat Zeref before it got to this stage this would never have happened, you would have been sat in the guild laughing with us or at least helping us plan our attack. You wouldn’t be lying here bleeding out in my arms, and we could have been sat planning our date. Our first date…

“Lisanna…”

“Shh,” she hushed him as she realised just how much it cost him to continue speaking, placing a finger on his lips when he tried to continue anyway. Trembling she reached up to brush her tears away, not wanting to miss a moment of this, wanting to engrave it on her memory, despite the pain that lanced through her heart as she finally realised just how much he had paled in the last couple of minutes, his chest heaving as he struggled to draw in enough air. _Natsu, I’m sorry…I’m so sorry._ Tenderly she stroked his cheek once more, mindful of his injuries, waiting until his gaze which had wondered for a moment returned to her. “It’s my turn to keep my promise,” she whispered, seeing olive eyes widening with comprehension as she leant forward to press her lips against his.

     It was nothing like she had imagined, her daydreams which had changed considerably since they were children playing house as they raised Happy, but never once had she envisioned that their first kiss would be like this. Her heart was breaking in her chest as she felt his weak response, a fluttering touch against her lips rather than the strong warmth she had spent a lifetime imagining, and yet at the same time it was everything. For a brief, fleeting second it was perfect. It was Natsu, and they were kissing. Finally acting on the feelings that had simmered unspoken between them for too long, and as she met his gaze she could see the love in them, and she hoped that her own showed the same.

    However, it was only a fleeting dream, and she pulled back in alarm when he fell into a coughing fit, clinging to him as he writhed in her arms, pained whimpers falling from his lips and now there was no stopping her tears as she saw the pain in his face. It only lasted a moment, but it had clearly drained what little strength he had remaining, and he slumped limply in her arms, and she feared that he had already slipped away as his eyes were closed once more. With a supreme effort, he forced them open once more, lips curving into a sweet smile despite the blood now flecking his lips.

“T-thank you…” He whispered, his voice warm as he weakly managed to shift his hand so that he could curl it around hers and she squeezed it tightly, hoping that it would keep him anchored with her just a little bit longer.  “Li…I have o-ne…more prom...ise…I need you to…make.” It was clear that he was struggling now, his words fracturing and she desperately clung to his hand as she felt it beginning to fall away. _Natsu, you can’t leave me…not now…not yet…_

“What?”

“L... Live…for me…” He pleaded, and Lisanna froze as horrified comprehension washed over her, her grip on his hand faltering for a moment. _Even now, after everything I did, and after everything you endured because of the promise I asked for, you’re still worried about me?_ There was nothing else she could do, not with the debt she owed him and not when he was watching her with such desperate eyes, and despite the pain in her chest, she nodded silently. _I promise…_ His expression relaxed, and her breath caught in her throat as for a moment he looked perfectly content as he stared up at her, his lips quirking upwards even as his eyes slowly drifted shut. Only this time they didn’t reopen, and she silently lent over him, burying her face against him as she felt his breathing slow and stop, his hand lying limp in her grasp and this time she couldn’t hold back the wail that rose in her throat as she realised he was gone.

_What did we do? What did I do?_

 


End file.
